“Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not” – Songs Ranked

Ridiculous title aside, Arctic Monkey’s first album is pretty perfect as far as debuts go. It was a huge success in the UK, and the band couldn’t have asked for a stronger start to their careers.

Not only was the album a commercial success, but the individual songs on it are fantastic too. How would I rank them all?

You can check out some of my related blog posts below:


13 – You Probably Couldn’t See For The Lights But You Were Staring Straight At Me

Points deducted for a title that gives me a migraine.

This particular song (no chance I’m typing all that out again!) is easily the weakest on the album, as it does nothing to add to the experience.

12 – Still Take You Home

Much like with the previous song (that shall go unnamed), “Still Take You Home” could have been dropped and nobody would miss it.


11 – Red Light Indicates Doors Are Secured

Decent riff, but I can’t help but feel that it doesn’t really add much to the album. Enjoyable enough to put in “Good”, all things considered.

10 – Perhaps Vampires Is A Bit Strong But …

I love the title and the subdued start, and the riffs that follow are loads of fun too.

As a point of reference, all of these top 10 songs are tracks that I really enjoy.

9 – Riot Van

If “Mardy Bum” didn’t exist, this would have been a lovely little track to calm the tensions down. Unfortunately, I can’t help but feel that “Riot Van” pales in comparison to that track.

That being said, Alex Turner’s lyrics and vocal delivery make it worth the while.

8 – Dancing Shoes

Not as complex as some of the other rockers, but “Dancing Shoes” does enough to get the listener moving.


7 – From The Ritz To The Rubble

This one flew under my radar on the first couple of listens, but recently I’ve grown to appreciate the infectious energy.

The bass player does an excellent job throughout, and the rising riffs never fail to pump me up.

6 – Fake Tales Of San Francisco

One of my favourite set of lyrics on the album, “Fake Tales of San Francisco” is both cheeky and cool.

It’s got a simple groove throughout, but the choruses are memorable enough to make up for it.

5 – Mardy Bum

A breath of fresh air, “Mardy Bum” is the kind of low-key, chill song that works wonders in varying the pace.

As is a common theme for the songs on this album, Turner’s lyrics are at an all-time best.

4 – The View From The Afternoon

What an explosive start to an album!

“The View From The Afternoon” is just about as bombastic and energetic as it gets, with a chorus that makes me want to shout at the top of my lungs.


3 – When The Sun Goes Down

Not only can Turner tell raucous stories of late nights in Sheffield, he can also weave fascinating tales just as masterfully.

“When The Sun Goes Down” is the pinnacle of Arctic Monkeys storytelling, and the switches between the slow and fast sections always catch me off-guard.

2 – A Certain Romance

It’s only recently that I’ve truly come to appreciate the closing track, but “A Certain Romance” has skyrocketed to second place on the ranking.

It’s quite possibly the best-written song on the entire album, with chord progressions and riffs that you can’t help but love. A triumphant way to close proceedings.

All-Time Great

1 – I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor

What else was gonna take the top spot?

“I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor” took the UK by storm back in the mid-2000’s, and I frequently hear it on radios even today. It’s a powerhouse track, with a definitive vocal performance from Turner and some electric work from the other band members. 2000’s garage rock at its very best.

Aaaand that’s my list! You can check out some of my latest blog posts below:

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James Bond Films – Overrated / Underrated

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Friends – Season 8 Episodes Ranked

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